Tony Montana probably had stomach pain at the end of Scarface.
Diarrhea. Ulcers. Protein farts. Terrible stomach pains.
Whatever the heck it is, it seems like everybody suffers from some kind of digestive problems these days; including me. The more I talk to other people, the more I realize that I’m not alone. After all, we’re all human.
In the past year, I’ve talked to my fair share of people who have hired the help of a naturopathic doctor to diagnose their stomach problems. These are the people who think that they are unique and alone. Unlike me, they haven’t realized that they’re probably normal.
Ten times out of ten, the naturopath tells them that they are different and that they have colitis.
Years ago, I was once told this too. It turns out that everyone who suffers from stomach pain actually just has colitis. Bullshit.
Sure, some people do have colitis (whatever the heck that really is). Yet, in all honesty, I think that most people have some intolerances to processed food, some grains, and some dairy.
“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that processed food is crap.” – Tweet This
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that processed food is crap and is usually pretty difficult to digest. The purpose of this article isn’t to tell you to eat processed food. This should be obvious. What I’m going to do is teach you of some tricks I’ve picked up to basically rid myself of stomach pains.
The Paleo Test
I’ve written about my strange love for Paleo style eating in the past. It’s a great way to figure out what kind of foods will give you stomach problems, and which foods are fair-game.
In a nutshell, I suggest eating only Paleo foods for 30 days. This means that you will only be eating meat, fish, eggs, seafood, nuts, seeds, olive oil, coconut oil, avocadoes, vegetables, root vegetables, squashes, and potatoes.
No grains. No dairy. No legumes. No processed foods (including Canola oil).
After 30 days, start introducing one food back in at a time. If you have a reaction, then you know that you shouldn’t be eating that food.
Glutamine
I originally started taking glutamine post workout to complement Leucine during mTor activation and protein synthesis. Strangely, I noticed better digestion of food and less gas.
I’ve always heard of Glutamine being recommended as a gut healing protocol, but I was too stupid to try it. It turns out that it works.
Recently, I ran out of Glutamine and noticed less than optimal digestion. I guess I need to keep taking my 10g per day.
Change Your Protein
Last Tuesday, my buddy, Nico asked the following question on Facebook.
(Click the image to check out the protein I recommended).
You bet your bottom dollar that I chimed in. (On a side note, don’t follow the soy milk advice. That’s just ridiculous.)
On Saturday, Nico updated me with this:
It turns out I give good advice #humblebrag.
Ferment Your Cabbage
Over a year ago I was out for All-You-Can-Eat sushi and Thai with my buddies. As an appetizer, we ordered either Sauerkraut or Kimchi (I thought we ordered Sauerkraut, but why the heck would an Asian restaurant serve that?). That night, I ate more than I’ve ever eaten in my entire life, and I didn’t feel bloated, over stuffed, or like a sick little girl.
Since then, I’ve been eating sauerkraut before every meal, and I have been feeling freakin’ amazing. The reason for this is because fermented foods like sauerkraut are a natural probiotic. Your digestive system needs certain bacteria to perform optimally. This is one of those things where you can instantly feel it working.
Call it snake oil if you wish; just don’t dog it ‘til you try it.
Fasting
I’ve said it a thousand times before. Fasting gives your digestive system and break and allows you to not have to suffer from awful stomach pains. Besides, who wants to eat food when they feel like crap (or crapping)?
In a recent article I wrote for EliteFTS, some people were pissed off because I used the word “detox” to describe the fast. I think that the media has bastardized the term. According to dictionary.reference.com, the actual definition of detox is “the metabolic process by which toxins are changed into less toxic or more readily excretable substances.” A food that you have an intolerance for is a toxin. You want to excrete it. Fasting helps you excrete this toxin without having to worry about adding more into your body.
Case closed. Who the hell cares if I used the word detox? Fasting makes you feel better. End of story.
Parting Words
If you suffer from any digestive problems, then I know that at least one thing I’ve recommended in this article can help you. If it does, message me and tell me how much more awesome your life is without your stomach problems.
Life is better lived healthy than sick.
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