Movember is over. Decumbulk is here. Let me guess: you have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ll make it easier for you. Winter is coming, and so is your muscle. Lots of it. Follow the steps below to bring yourself some Decembulk joy this holiday season.
Winter is coming...
Eat (Way) More
Not only are you going to eat more, but you’re going to eat properly. You want quality muscle? Eat quality food. You want to get fat? Eat processed food. It’s as simple as that. Here is my hierarchy of gaining quality muscle (and possibly losing fat in the process).
After you master #1, you will graduate onto #2. Think you can go straight to #2? It’s not that easy. Although you may think that you are an exception, you’re not. Sorry, but someone had to tell you. It’s better that you heard it from me instead of your mom.
The Exception to #1
Eat whatever the hell you want on Christmas day. You earned it. Enjoy yourself. Feel like being strict? Try to hack Christmas with this article here.
Lift Heavy
Here are your big 4 exercises:
- Rack Deadlift
- Bulgarian Split Squat
- Barbell Floor Press or Barbell Bench Press
- Weighted Pull-ups
Keep the reps between 1-8 (with the exception being the Bulgarian split squat; do 3-8 reps and/or 20 reps on each leg). Always try to lift more weight each workout, or 1 more rep. If you’re getting stronger, then you’re getting bigger. It’s as easy as that.
Never lift to failure. Unsure what failure is?: Forced reps, drop sets, and repeatedly not being able to make a weight (due to it being too heavy).
If you’re not doing one of the big 4 exercises each time you workout, then please tell me what the heck you are doing. Also, please don’t tell me that you run for your legs. That’s like saying you jerk off to build your biceps.
Rule of 10
In Pavel and Dan John’s, Easy Strength, they advise to perform approximately 10 reps per whole body movement. I think that they’re onto something. Here are three gems:
- 2 sets of 5 reps. Work up to your heaviest set of 5 (leave 1 rep in the tank), then do another set of 5 with 90% of your heaviest set. That’s 10 reps.
- 3 sets of 3 reps. Work up to your heaviest set of 3 (leave 1 rep in the tank), then do another set of 3 with 90% of your heaviest set. Rest, then do another set of 3 with the weight you just used. That’s 9 reps.
- 5 sets of 2 reps. Work up to your heaviest set of 2 (leave 1 rep in the tank), then do another set of 2 with 90% of your heaviest set. Rest, then do another set of 2 with the weight that you just used. Keep lifting this weight until you have hit 10 reps.
Leave 1 Rep in the Tank
Basically, when you leave 1 rep in the tank, it means that if you tried to lift 1 more rep, you wouldn’t have been able to lift it unless you grinded it out. When you grind a rep out, your form starts to break down into crap. If you train like crap, you will look and feel like crap.
Hibernate
Sleep as much as you can. Rub topical magnesium on your body before you go to bed and you’ll sleep like a baby. (Click here to discover the benefits of magnesium). Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. Go to bed as early as possible (within reason).
How Often Should I Hit the Gym?
If you mastered #1 in the nutrition section, leave 1 rep in the tank while lifting, sleep at least 8 hours every night, and you love to lift weights, then you can get away with training 6 days a week. No joke. I see no problem in doing more of something that you love (unless it’s hardcore drugs), as long as you are recovering properly.
Is 6 days a week realistic? Probably not. Aim for 3-4 days per week, and you should be good to go.
Conclusion
There’s no denying that the coolest time of the year is upon us. Go out there, and start building some muscle! (Keeping the moustache is optional.) Happy Decumbulk.
I'd have a moustache this awesome if my chest was as hairy as his.
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